No Time

NOTE: Since the original posting of this blog some resolution appears to be in the works. I went to the business owner and expressed my dire need for 2 regular days off in a row AND that "I need to make more money". Well, he immediately was fine with my being off on Mondays, which was my preference! Also, he said he is working on some ideas that might give me more responsibilities on the days that I AM working, like picking up some pieces from florists on my way into the warehouse. So talking with him really was the way to go. In addition, I have resolved to get in bed by midnight, read a bit if I feel like it, and be up by between 7-8 am. I am slowly working it down to 7 am and by summer should be up by 6 am, which has always been my habit in the summer. If I stick to this schedule, I should have plenty of time to do things in the morning BEFORE I head out to pick up my flowers at 1 or even if I have to make a few stops on the way. I am really happy about this new direction and hope it works out for me.

I haven't blogged because my life has become a whirlwind of work and recovering from WORK!

Yeah, I'm loving my flower gig, but it dominates my life in ways that don't really make sense.

I feel like I am "getting ready to go to work" in the few hours I have in the morning and "relaxing after work" in the few hours in the evening.

And this is 6 days a week!

It's not hard labor, it's fun, but it is unpredictable and usually keeps me out on the road from noon to around 6pm. During this time I am picking up my flowers and then delivering them within a semi-rural area.

This is very pleasant work but pays very little. Very. I knew that going into it and at the time that was enough. It may continue to be, I don't know.

But my "life work" balance is off kilter. I am finding no time to ride the scooter, ride the bikes, hike with the dogs, and golf.

These are my few real passions and I really, really miss doing them.

Excuses? Sometimes I stay up late reading or watching TV or playing on the Kindle Fire and so I sleep in and my morning starts too late. There are dogs to feed and walk as well as myself and then I turn around and it is noon, time to leave.

I can get back home anywhere from 3:30 to 9:30pm, depending on how many orders I have and then that is unpredictable. Easter was very busy, Mother's Day will be the busiest of all.

"Busy" means more money and did I mention that this gig that I love does not pay that well? Yes, I did.

When I work Monday through Saturday with Sunday as my only day off, how do I get to: 1. relax 2. do errands 3. do chores 4. ride 5. anything else.

It doesn't happen.

Add in rain, cold weather that seems to never end, and the guilt of missing a day because someone else has to deliver all my orders now that I am not there and it all adds up to frustration.

So I am frustrated, tired, agitated, and starving for a few days for myself just to enjoy the time away from work doing things I want to do.

I am not sure what the solution is for me, but I am working on one.

Getting up earlier, cutting back to 5 days and "be damned let them figure it out" come into my mind as first steps.

Looking for another job is also crossing my mind ever so slightly.

Meanwhile I struggle with the sense of "no time" and the scooter and bikes gather dust.

My dogs get no outings and get stressed and depressed. They mirror my mood.

I feel like I spend a lot of time here...

And, yes, I'll take some cheese with that whine...

End of rant...for now!

Easter Buds

Today was a splendid spring day, an "Easter Eve", if you will.

The sun was shining through a crisp, dry 60 degree atmosphere that dazzled the eye and lifted the long dormant spirit within!

Yes, I delivered some flowers today and brought along my camera and my "co-pilot" Maxi.

It was raining floral color and the car was filled with the scents of lillies, roses, and tulips among others.

Enjoy...

Lest we not forget, it is the weekend of the "Final Four" and if you don't know what that means, then well...

Let this final image leave no doubt as to which team we are rooting for!

Anyway, Happy Easter to you and yours!

Spectrum of Riders

I've been spending my days riding around in my Honda CRV delivering flowers, plants, and dog food amid blizzards and floods for the past month. Thank the Snow Gods that the worst of winter is over!

When you're out on the road like this you spend a lot of time reflecting on this and that. A lot of the time is spent fantasizing about riding again in spring and seeing new routes and making a note of them amid the flurry of traveling to and fro.

I had lots of blog ideas that never got written down and saw lots of interesting sights that never got photographed because I've been "too busy". Yep, and that is not the way I like to live my lifestyle: being "too busy".

But it happened and now it is slowing down a bit because I am now no longer doing a courier route in addition to my flower "giggin'". So I have my mornings back to relax and blog a bit.

More and more my thoughts are on getting out on the scooter and bikes or just hiking the park trails with my dogs. I've been thinking about how I got into riding a scooter in the first place.

This was in 2007 and we had been out "on the farm" for about a year. My 78 year old neighbor lady was riding up to our door on her Chinese ATV and sitting and talking with me out on the porch, most every evening in the spring.

I envied her mobility and her chanting, "Well, I'm off to enjoy my evening out on the road for a bit before I head home for my 7:30 cup of coffee and "Jeopardy"!

She went on to tell me how she loves to ride on her ATV around the rural roads up on our ridge. Just time to get out in nature and enjoy the sights and smells and totally unwind.

Wow! I wanted THAT too!

At that time I was driving to a job that carried me through a little tiny village in a valley. I mean "tiny". No stop lights and you were through it in the blink of an eye.

Right there in the heart of the village sat a Honda Power sports dealership! It was small too and family-owned. Just a building, a barn, and a gravel parking lot. I decided that I was going to stop in and look at an ATV for myself. Maybe even test ride one.

So one day I did and discovered scooters! I had no clue about this world of scooters beforehand. I had ridden a Honda motorcycle in the 1980s, but scooters? No idea.

There sat this little gunmetal gray one with a camo casing and big fat tires. I thought it was pretty cute and cool and the "100 mpg" sticker blew my mind as well.

Within a week the notion of an ATV was out of my head and I was taking delivery of my 2006 Honda Ruckus 49cc, water-cooled, 4 stroke scooter!

No scooter was ever loved more than that scooter! I called it "Scootie" and rode it everywhere. Pretty soon my neighbor and I were traveling the ridge on summer evenings and chatting up the Amish neighbors and drinking coffee under the moonlight of the gazebo in her front yard.

I rode my scooter in the woods on trails, across the fields to vegetable gardens to collect tomatoes, herding Holstein cattle up the road, to the flea markets, and to the library and grocery store.


I loved it so much that I just got a thrill of joy gazing at it under its blanket out in the garage in the dead of winter when riding was out of the question.


Life was sweet. Everyone now seemed to be interested in scooters as the gas prices soared from 2007-2008. When the BIG recession hit in late 2008 I began to fear the loss of my job and we began to worry about making financial ends meet out on the farm.


In February 2009 I lost my job and panic set in about paying the bills. In heart wrenching desperation I put Scootie up for sale on Craigslist. Not long after that I got a response and two students from Akron came in a pick-up truck and hauled Scootie away. I cried as the truck drove off the property and almost chased it down.


It is one of the biggest scooter-related regrets I ever experienced, losing my first scooter love. If there was a way to track it down I would. I watched the Akron Craigslist for a while, hoping to see her for sale, but finally accepted that she was gone forever.


I went without a job for 3 years and without a scooter for 1.5 years and swore that no matter how bad times got I would never be scooter-less again if I became unemployed again. Scooting gives me so much joy, so much freedom, and so much happiness.


Fast forward to the topic at hand which is "spectrum of riders". What I've come to realize is that there is a "spectrum" of 2-wheeled riders. The spectrum runs from bicycle to scooter to motorcycle, the way I see it.


Many scooterists started out as bicycle riders. Many motorcyclists started out as scooter riders. These would be the major patterns. Some continue to ride 2 or 3 or just one exclusively. Then some people go back and forth. Or just go back.


BICYCLE >>>>>>> SCOOTER >>>>>>>> MOTORCYCLE


I always rode bicycles, from age 4 onward. That became my main focus through the past 10 years of my life here in SW Ohio. We have an extensive network of rail trails and some awesome places to ride. Places far out into nature and woodlands, free from cars and noise and crowds. Those are the places I gravitated to on my road bike, mountain bike, and even a few recumbent bikes and trikes.


I rode to get away from cars and people and to get lost out on the trail along the river where the only "din" was the sounds of birds and the chatter of squirrels.


And so my scooter riding started out with the same goals in mind way out there in the country up on that ridge. As time went on I "thought" that I "should" want more power on a scooter and tried to move up out of the 49cc models. That didn't work out there because the 49cc models were so much fun to ride and I "rode it like a bicycle" and went anywhere I damn well pleased on the Ruckus and the Met anyway!


I moved to the burbs out of "financial necessity" aka "need a job" in the fall of 2012 and found myself now dealing with traffic all along my rides, all the time. I hated it, but tried to adapt, and eventually found some tolerable back roads that led me out into the countryside for my scooter adventures.


Never commuted, though I thought I would. Never rode out on all day long rides, though I thought I would. Did do little evening neighborhood rides and grocery runs. Talked myself into more power and went up to 125cc and 108cc and still loved the little 49cc Yammie C3 that I owned and sold like an idiot. THIRD biggest seller's regret...

Bottom line is that I was a hard head all along, did a lot of "shoulds and oughts" and did stupid trading, buying, and selling and I am still a scooter rider who likes to "ride it like a bicycle" and that is where I fall on the spectrum.


I am never going to go "up" to the level of motorcycle riding because I hate riding in traffic. I hate the anxiety and exhaustion that it brings and besides, I drive all day as it is IN TRAFFIC delivering flowers. Why would I want to "play" in traffic on a motorcycle and/or larger scooter? I wouldn't.


Last year I bought 2 new bicycles, end of season, and plan to get back into riding on our wonderful, quiet, car-free rail trails and parks around here. A Fuji flat bar road bike and an Electra Townie 21D (Thank you for the inspiration, Sonya!).


I have not taken either one out yet, but am eagerly looking forward to doing so.

In thinking through this "spectrum" concept I have freed myself from the pressure or expectation or whatever one calls it of riding among cars on a fast moving scooter or motorcycle as a form of entertainment. For me it is not, and I am done experimenting with the idea.


I will be on the rail trail or quiet village streets or park trails on my bike or out on my little scooter, decked out in obnoxious hi viz yellow, flying an obnoxious hi viz flag, sporting a big ol' cautionary hi viz yellow reflective triangle on the back.


Yep, "riding it like a bike" on the back roads and quiet streets, among as few cars as possible.

Me and Abe

Me and Abe in February. It's always been that way for me. He was born on the 12th, I was born on the 16th. He grew up in Kentucky, I grew up in Kentucky. We were children only miles apart in Hardin County, his boyhood home being less than an hour from mine.

His cabin still stands in the middle of a national historical park, though it is currently undergoing some renovation. You can read about this park here:

http://www.nps.gov/abli/index.htm

Abe and I met in school and then later in the "World Book Encyclopedia" set that my parents bought for me in the third grade. That is about the time that I set up my love for learning, a personality trait also displayed by my buddy Abe.

I had a third grade teacher then, Mrs. Lila Cissell, who opened my eyes to history and it was all around me in central Kentucky. Hodgenville was right up the road and so the story of Abe, growing up in a simple log cabin and reading his lessons by firelight, came alive for me.

I was an only child, shy and introverted, who found many friendships in fantasy and reading and Abe and I seemed kindred. He'd have his birthday and then I'd have mine four days later. George came along on the 22nd, but he was too late for our celebration. It was just me and Abe.

As the years went on I found myself drawn more and more to the historical circumstances of Abe's life and eventually of his untimely death. It's like I knew him and grieved his loss like a brother or favorite uncle.

I've visited Gettysburg and imagined him standing there on the battle field, saying those famous words, "Fourscore and seven years ago...".

One time when I was a teenager, my horse riding girlfriends and I rode way out onto the most isolated part of the reservation that was owned by Fort Knox, where I grew up as an Army brat.

We'd take these extended day rides and go out and explore wild areas with our picnic lunches and cameras and curious minds.

Fort Knox had arisen as the "Home of Armor" in the early 20th century from the Federal confiscation of several county land areas in central Kentucky. In that process many small villages and townships were more or less consumed and erased from existence, leaving only a few graveyards, churches, and homesteads standing out in the wilderness.

Here's some more on the history of Fort Knox, my home town:

http://www.knox.army.mil/About/History.aspx

On this one particular day we came upon a primitive pioneer cemetery hidden deep in some woods alongside a creek. We got off our horses, tied them up, and decided to explore the gravestones, many of which were so weathered to the point that they could not be easily deciphered.

Among these gravestones we found numerous members of the Todd family, Mary Lincoln's ancestry. It was fascinating and we wondered if these folks might be close relatives to Abe and Mary Todd Lincoln.

Of course in those days there was no ancestry.com or way to find out more about them. But I found it fascinating and one more link to Abe and his heritage in the area.

So Abe and I, we celebrate our birthdays together in February. His was last Thursday and mine is tomorrow.

It's a funny thing, this relationship that I have always had with Abe, but it's just part of who I am.

Happy Belated Birthday, Abe! And Happy Birthday to me!

Pretty Passengers

I ride around ALL DAY with "the beautiful people"...

Oranges, reds, whites, yellows, pink, purples..."a rose by any other name"

Hidden beauty within, peeping out every once in a while...

The gentle juxtaposition of several sweet souls...

A Valentine heart, an elephant's trunk...imagination is carefree...

Delicate tendrils seeking light and loveliness...


Everyday I travel with such pretty passengers, dropping them off at homes, offices, and churches.

Sometimes they topple, sometimes they wet the cargo hold, sometimes they sway to and fro going down the road. (They seem to LOVE "oldies" on the radio!).

They never complain or try to tell me how to drive and they are very forgiving when I fail to buy them hamburgers or Twizzlers or a big old cup of java.

Just riding along, seeing the sights, traveling to new places, enjoying the sunshine.

What more could one ask for in traveling companions?

For Cryin' Out Loud!

Punxsutawney Phil came out today and this is what he saw!

He looked around, uttered, "Six more weeks of winter, people!" and slammed down the lid on the deep freeze!

For cryin' out loud!

Guess we may as well sit back and try to enjoy it as best as we can!

Flower Power

These days I am literally surviving on "flower power". I have remained on with the floral delivery company and have been more or less assimilated into the delivery crew.

It just sort of happened after I expressed an interest in doing this sort of work all the time and then two other drivers had health issues and I am helping take up the slack on their routes. Next month I will also help out with a courier route 3 days a week, which will increase my earnings slightly.

I have come to accept that I will never go back to working in health care again. At least not in the role I'd been in for over 25 years. It came to be such a "soul sucking" existence that the very thought of doing it anymore leaves me feeling spiritually crushed.

I have loved doing floral delivery since I took it up seasonally in 2012, and so that is what I'd like to do for now. I am not sure where this is going, if there is a place for me longer term with this company or another, but for now I am happier than I have been in years.

I've tried to bring my camera along on these excursions, but have been too busy to even stop and shoot photos for this blog. So I have nothing new to show of that nature.

I am enjoying this new life immensely, though we live "poor as Job's turkey" and from week to week, trying to keep the bills covered. But it will be all right. I know it was meant for me to leave that job and that way of life and embrace this one.

It is a new beginning, an uncertain future, but exciting and refreshing. I am usually a big "planner", but I have come to embrace a new way of being and that is taking it one day at a time, on faith, and with trust in God that I am heading in the right direction.

It's gotta be...I feel such an inner peace, so much better physically and spiritually, and so excited about a future doing just what I am doing and who knows what else.

It must be the "power of the flower"! I can account for it in no other way...

Flower Giggin'

I haven't stopped delivering flowers and fruit baskets since the week after New Year's Day. Got me a "flower delivery gig".

At least for now!

So far I've delivered centerpieces, little fruit baskets, tall vases of flowers, huge pot plants, wicker baskets of wine and cheese, crates of bananas, oranges, and grapes, huge bags of dog food (new item), little bags of dog treats, funeral wreaths, wedding bouquets, and any kind of floral arrangement you can imagine.

I do this Monday through Friday (and sometimes Saturday if they need me) from 1pm until I finish up anywhere from 5pm to 7pm-ish. I drive my own truck, sans dog co-pilot. She only comes along if I am close to home and doing residential deliveries. No risk involved and the weather has to be right as well for her to ride along with me.

Just when I think I know a local area I find out something new. Just the other day I found a restored 1800s school house in an area about 10 miles from where I've lived since 1994. I just never had any reason to find this and now I am enchanted and want to scoot there in the spring and learn more about this.

I've entered churches and funeral homes and admired the elaborate architecture and stained glass designs and seen these elaborate Victorian bannisters and parlors that are absolutely beautiful. I've left flowers in the nave, in the flower room, and dashed out hoping not to see the "dearly beloved" laid out in the foyer!

I've seen all kinds of people on my route. Some stare out the window and won't come to the door. Most come to the door and make some kind of joke or quip about the order, "Oh, wow, that is huge!" or "Who the hell sent that?!".

Kids, dads, mom, older people who teeter to the door, eyes at the window who refuse to open it, a woman in a wheelchair, a man in a bathrobe who ran out in zero weather to give me a tip at the truck window.

I see a lot of dogs, many who run out to "sniff me over". My favorite so far was a Labro-doodle named Sandy. I decided with Sandy that I might want to bring one of her kin into my home when I move to a house. So sweet, so smart!

I've seen some weird things. The lady who came to the door and asked me to please bring the fruit basket in (it was on her porch and I was walking away toward my truck, thinking no one was home) as she "had no pants on". She didn't! But I got the basket to her and tried not to look!

Some places are sort of creepy. One house looked like it was from the set of The Addams Family, complete with a fountain spewing brown water, a creepy gremlin statue, vines growing all over, and a skull door knocker.

I knocked and left that one as quickly as I heard what I thought was a growling noise!

I've seen how the "rich" live too. I mean the "really rich". Estates way back off into woodland areas with vistas of the Ohio River and valleys that would never even be imaginable. So many mansions. Many of these put the mansions of Newport and The Hamptons to shame. These are "new rich". Lots of toys and ostentation.

The "old rich" also exist in a wooded east side area of the county. Most are modest little estates or bungalows, nestled back in a wooded glade or down a country lane. Some have gates, most don't. These could be houses from out where I lived in the poorest county in Ohio except the land values and property values here are long-term high and it is all couched in a "historical ambiance" of the 19th century, early pioneer mystique.

These are the families that founded the city and they go back a long, long way. No pretense here. Being rich has been a way of life so long they don't know they are rich so they act like the rest of us. I've gotten some good tips here when some one is home.

Most of the time you never see a soul in these wealthy areas. No one out in the yard doing anything except landscapers, gardeners, or other delivery vans. Most of the time no one comes to the door. It's silent and still and you wonder if it is all a movie set as it is so surreal. Beautiful, but cold in a way. And I don't mean temperature-wise.

I have gotten a few tips too. Not many, but a few. Usually the lower income neighborhoods. Guess those folks know what it is to work for a tip. I don't expect them. I treat everyone the same. A smile, a greeting about "your beautiful flowers, wonderful fruit basket, gorgeous plant" from "so and so". And I end it with "Enjoy!" or "Merry Christmas!" if that is appropriate.

I love this work. I have lost all my physical and mental stress and I now feel strong and energetic. I don't need Planet Fitness because I've got "Planet Flower" making me strong and happy and fit.

The feel of the sunlight is changing, there's a feel of spring in the cool air. What better place to be than out on the roads "flower giggin'" when spring unfolds? I can't imagine a better job.

At least for now!

All Done

All done! 120 floral arrangements and fruit baskets delivered by Christmas Eve!

I could not have asked for more perfect weather along the way. Generous tips bought me coffee and burgers and kept me going along for a 10 day run. It was so much fun, but now it's over.

Over and all done and now what's next? is the big question looming in front of me.

I am sending out resumes and exploring options. What is more frustrating than a job search?

I know! A search for another place to live!

And we have got to get out of the "cottage-by-the-mall" this year. Our lease runs through September but they want to know by JUNE if we are staying! No, we are NOT staying! I swear to God we are not staying for a 4th lease renewal!

So I am making preparations now. I am looking for work (or creating some) that will allow us to move out east a bit and maybe be able to go back into a little house along some quiet rural road.

It has to be far out enough to allow us to afford it, but close enough that I can draw out some sort of "living" from some source.

So I am "all done" with the past life here and looking for a "new tomorrow".

And isn't that what New Year's celebrations are supposed to be about?

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my pals in Moto Blogger Land!

Roll on safely into 2015...

Happy Place

Like Peach in "Finding Nemo", I try to focus on finding a "happy place" in my daily life.

Usually it is a matter of attitude, and easily attained.

Sometimes though it is a matter of needing to make drastic change after agonizing, drawn out misery and painful decisions.

My situation was the latter. After sixteen months of the most incredible work stress I have ever experienced, I resigned and walked out to freedom yesterday.

Right out the door, never to return.

My spirit, mind, and body just could not take it anymore and I had done all I could do to fight the situation as an employee. It had to be over and so it was.

Now I will deliver flowers for the next two weeks and see what is next for me.

I am sad, but elated. Exhausted, but energized. Scared, but optimistic.

Today I woke up to a new world, full of possibility.

It was a strange, sweet feeling.

I am celebrating and looking forward to the best Christmas ever. A rebirth of how I spend my time bringing in kibble money and caring for those I hold most dear.

Oh how a celebratory scooter ride would be awesome today! It's cold (30s), damp, cloudy, and kind of all gray looking out there. We'll see.

Maybe tomorrow the sun will burst forth and the birds will sing!

Oh, wait, metaphorically that has already happened!

In the meantime, I have found a Happy Place after a long time of unhappy.

And I am so HAPPY!